Love of Pregnancy?

We have now made it to almost 18 weeks.  In the beginning, this felt like it would be so far away.  Looking back, it actually does go quite quickly.

I feel about the same way I felt in my first trimester.  I know I’m very lucky that I did not have to suffer through any of the common symptoms of pregnancy, mainly, morning sickness.  Overall, I think I have had a very easy pregnancy thus far.  

I am still very curious why women tell me they LOVED being pregnant.  I’m still waiting for this to hit me.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining.  I am very lucky and thankful that we were able to get pregnant.  I just cannot say that I love being pregnant.  No, it’s not difficult for me, but love it? Nope, at least not yet.
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I use to hear of women that complained of getting ‘fat’ while pregnant.  I thought this was a selfish or superficial thought.  I get it now.  I really did think that you just gradually get this nice, cute little belly that grows over time.  I knew that some people over eat and use the term ‘eating for two’ and get bigger than others, but overall, I just thought it was a process where you just grow this cute belly bump.  I was so wrong.  I sit here at 18 weeks, and I still feel fat.  My stomach is growing, but it’s not just a cute little baby bump.  I feel like I’m growing out everywhere.  I can fit in some of my clothes still, but just not very comfortably, and I have one pair of maternity jeans, and they are too big.  I guess I am just in that awkward stage.  Sometimes it gets hard not to feel self conscious about it all.

I still have not felt any of my baby’s movements.  I was told this can happen between 17-21 weeks.  Maybe this is when it feels more real.  Right now I seem to just have constant heartburn, a constant dull headache everyday and what feels like constant stretching going on in my lower abdomen, which sometimes hurts to even cough, sneeze and blow my nose, especially after working out.  None of these symptoms are terrible, and I don’t notice them at all times of the day.

I was very lucky that little Baby Lamperski allowed me to run the Philly Half Marathon one week ago today.  Besides a few bathroom stops, the baby was very accommodating to me.  Luckily, only one stop was during the race, at mile 7.  I felt really good, it was a breeze through around mile 8-9.  My first stop was at mile 7 for use of the bathroom, there was a line, and some nice gentleman let me go in front of him, very nice!  This break still lasted 4 minutes with the waiting.  I took a gel there and water.  I stopped again going up a long gradual hill.  I think this was around mile 9.3, and I walked for about 3/10 mile up the hill.  Just didn’t want to exert myself too much, and kept reminded myself that this race was not a race for me, and just about having fun.  This was also the point I started to feel ligament pain.  My doctor said this was normal, and nothing to worry about.  I stopped one more time at mile 12.  Only b/c I felt very dehydrated.  It was much warmer that we thought it would be, it was in the upper 50’s, but it was over 90% humidity.  Not a hot humid, but I was sweating a lot and very thirsty.  It was always so crowded around me at all times, so I didn’t stop for many water breaks, I should have carried my own water.  So, starting around mile 11 I was looking for water, they only had a Clif Shot station.  I was so thirsty that I was starting to get worried about the baby.  So, I stopped and walked at 12, thinking maybe there would be a station at 12.5, but as I got to about 12.3 I could see no stations, so I just decided to run very slow to the finish, faster to get water that way.  

I finished with a time of 2:06, my slowest half marathon to date, but I think I was smart the whole time.  There were a few points where I had to argue with myself about time.  A few times I just wanted to keep going, or pick up the pace, but I had to remind myself, time does not matter and to just make sure you feel good the entire time so the baby stays safe.  So, I enjoyed the course, I looked around at all of the sights and people, and had a good time.  Since my longest run was 10 miles before this, my legs were hurting a bit toward the end.  I think this may be the first race where I think I was smiling just about the whole time!

It was fun, and I’m happy I was able to complete a half marathon at 17 weeks pregnant.  When I finished I crossed over to the full marathon finish chute and got to see Chris finish shortly after me, with a time of 2:38, for 26.2 miles!  Good day for him as well!  (I started the race 15 min’s late due to a line for the bathroom, so started with a slower corral.)

Tomorrow we go for the 18 week anatomy scan, ultrasound.  We should be able to find out if Baby Lamperski is a boy or girl!  We could have found out at my 16 week appointment, but the baby wouldn't cooperate and kept it's legs tightly closed.  I really haven’t had any sort of intuition on this.  My guess is a boy, but this is purely a guess and I wouldn’t put money on it.  I base this on the fact that my belly seems to be growing out high up, which I think they say is a sign of a boy.  Really, no other reasons, but just a guess.  Chris’s guess is a girl.  Can’t wait to find out tomorrow!!  Then we can get started on planning the nursery!

A Baby on the Way

I’ve thought about writing again for a long time, but I’ve felt that I have too many things to write/update about that it’s easier not to write anything.  So, now I am just going to pick up from right here and now.

I found out that we were expecting a baby on August 19, 2013.  At this point I was just 3 weeks and 6 days pregnant.  I was alone, in a hotel in Atlanta for a work trip all week.  I found out right before heading back into our Duluth, GA warehouse for a night shadow shift.  I was very surprised, happy, but still skeptical that it was true.  I couldn’t keep it a secret, and since I wasn’t going to see Chris until Thursday evening, I had to call and tell him.  I told him that there was a small possibility that I could be pregnant.  Even though I had taken 2 pregnancy tests, the line was very faint, so I wasn’t sure if that was accurate.  I was very happy, but didn’t want to get too excited, just in case it was not true.

Chris and I had talked about having a baby shortly after getting married, but I just thought it would take a long time.  I’m older;there are many scary stories about getting pregnant at my age, being pregnant, risks, etc.  So, I signed up for a marathon in November and we figured that if it doesn’t happen by early 2014 then we’ll ‘really’ start trying.  To me that meant keeping track of everything, talking to your doctor about options, etc.  Chris just assumed it would happen right away, he must have a sixth sense or something.

After my night shift, I got out of the warehouse around 11:30pm.  I drove about 7 miles to the only open grocery store I could find and bought a set of pregnancy tests, this time the + or – tests.  I took both of these, and yep, I got a +.  I was pretty convinced I was pregnant at this point, but at some point that week, I also bought a digital test, and this time it spelled out ‘pregnant.’ Wow!

I think that Chris really needed the doctor’s appointment to confirm it for him.  We both went in at 7 weeks and we saw our little baby on an ultrasound and heard its heartbeat.  So very little at that point!  Now we are almost to 15 weeks, and oddly enough, I still do not really feel pregnant.

I’ve known, MANY friends and family members who have been pregnant.  I guess I have never paid too much attention to their symptoms or belly through the process.  For some reason, I just assumed that you don’t show for the first 3 months, and then all of the sudden you get this nice, hard, pregnant belly that grows through the next 6 months.  I was so wrong.

I have been VERY lucky.  I have never had any sickness; I’ve had very minimal symptoms at all.  Many times I have questioned if I am even pregnant.  I had some back pain in my 8thweek which made me nervous.  I did too much reading on the internet in the beginning and was so scared of a miscarriage.  Given that I will have my baby at age 35, I am put in the advance maternal age category.  Which, I always knew I would be, but it became much scarier when I started reading the pregnancy books and reading on the internet.  Among the risks that come with this, is a high risk of miscarriage.  I found a home Doppler monitor on amazon.com for just $32.  This has to be the best invention ever!  This has put my nerves to rest on so many occasions.  I can listen to my baby’s heartbeat any time I want.  Like I said, many times, I just do not feel pregnant, so this way I can make sure the baby is still alive and well.  

The big sign for me that still lets me know I am pregnant, is the effect it has had on my running.  Right away, before I even knew I was pregnant, my running changed.  I felt different.  I felt like running was just harder, everyday was a bad running day.  I always felt winded, even at a slow pace; it was just a different feeling.  Before I knew I was pregnant, I also had light cramps every day.  I thought that, if I am not pregnant, which I thought was a very slim chance, then something is wrong with me, and I will have to see a doctor.  

I was more tired in my first trimester.  It was great actually; I was falling asleep by 9:30-10:00 and sleeping through the night.  I slept so well.  Now that I am in my second trimester I ampretty much back to normal.  Any small symptoms I was feeling are pretty much gone now.  Although, my running is still harder than it was before becoming pregnant.  I am not running as much.  I am still running in the Philly Marathon, but I have switched to the half marathon.  I still wonder if I will get through the half!  It will most definitely be slow!

As far as that cute pregnant belly I always thought I would have.  I have just felt fat and bloated since week 5.  My clothes started feeling tighter at that point.  I still do not look pregnant; I just look fuller, bloated, and fat.  I hear that the hard, pregnant belly takes a while to show itself.  I was not aware of this.

I have not had any strange cravings; I have not had any cravings at all.  I do not have to go to the bathroom an excessive amount like some women I hear about. I don’t think I have had mood swings.  I just don’t ‘feel’ pregnant.  I don’t know what that issupposed to feel like, but I’m still waiting for that to happen.  Ialso don’t feel a connection to my baby, I wish I did, and I keep waiting for this to happen.  I feel guilty even thinking and saying this out loud.  Maybe when we find out what we are having I will feel a bond.  Right now, I can only refer to the baby as ‘it’.  

Chris and I made the decision not to do any genetic testing.  This was also something I did not know much about before becoming pregnant.  When you go to your first doctor’s appointment, they will give you all this information about all the different tests you can have done.  Most of it, to me, seemed like more stress than anything.  There are carrier tests, so I do blood work, if I test positive to be a carrier then Chris has to be tested, if he tests positive, then we have a 25% chance of having a baby with this abnormality.  That still leaves a 75% chance the baby is healthy though, so really, is this test even worth the hassle?

Then there is the big one, the down syndrome testing.  This is a time sensitive test; the first is blood work and an ultrasound to tell you your odds.  If you have an increased rate of your child having downs, then you can go on to have a more invasive test done.  This test will give you a statistical result.  You could be told you have a 1/5 chance, or a 50% chance of your child having downs.  The older you are the greater your chances are of having a downs baby.  

I hated thinking about all of this stuff.  The point of the testing is to decide if you want to continue with your pregnancy, if you have an increased rate of any of these abnormalities, or so you can be prepared.  I know people who have done the testing and not done the testing.  For Chris and me, we decided not to.  We were going to have the baby either way.  I didn’t want the added stress of the testing.  We will have the anatomy scan done at 18 weeks, which can also tell us if there are any abnormalities.  We are going to love our baby no matter what, and honestly, I just figured that you can never be prepared for anything that may go wrong with your baby at birth, or after.  We will love our baby regardless, and we will figure things out as we go along.  I don’t judge anyone for whatever decision they make.  I have learned already that everyone has their opinions on your pregnancy and choices you make, so we just have to be comfortable and sure of our choices.  

You know what I have learned, even at giving birth at 35 years old, you still have a 95% chance of having a healthy pregnancy and baby.  I wish this statistic would be advertised more and not all the negative stuff!

That is pretty much our life in a nutshell right now.  Just taking it day by day.  Excited for when we get to meet our little baby, and thankful everyday that we received this gift.  In just 3 weeks we will get to find out if we are having a boy or girl!  

Baby Lamperski at 7 weeks :)